Some of you are aware of my mental and emotional health struggles. I wrote about some of it in the article Sometimes We Struggle. After writing that, I was able to stay "up" for quite a while. Unfortunately, I hit a bad low. I'm sorry I haven't written in a while.
February and March were definitely low points for me. Not that I was feeling down every single day, there were good days, but overall those months were tough. I think a large part of what brought me down was the greatly reduced amount of time I had to dedicate to TFFF, and I felt bad about that. The few times I actually did have time to work on TFFF, I just was not feeling it, and was not in the mood at all. Feeling low is a sinking spiral. You are down, so you don't want to do anything, but your lack of doing anything brings you down more.
I want to be able to do so much with Texas Freshwater Fly Fishing. I really enjoy the positivity it brings to so many of you and I always appreciate the kind words and support. Whenever I cannot dedicate the time to it like I want, it disappoints me. Couple that with my (still very present) social anxiety and depression, as well as a huge and exciting event (F3T in Austin) that I wasn't able to attend like I planned on doing, and the negative thoughts and feelings just continued to compound. There were times I seriously considered just not running TFFF anymore. I wasn't doing a good enough job.
Luckily, I was forced to sit down and work on TFFF out of obligation to those of you that have already signed up for The BIG Year TFFF. I had to get to work to determine the winner for March and write an article celebrating it.
I must say, seeing how many people are enjoying The BIG Year TFFF, still out fishing, and reading my articles, really picked me back up a little today. Writing the post to congratulate our youngest The BIG Year TFFF participant only made my morning that much better!
I have also come to realize that TFFF has grown to the point that I might need to start looking for some help. As my life (both work and family life) gets busier, I don't always have to opportunity to grow TFFF like I want. So, be on the lookout in the near future for that, and if you want to help, send me an email. We can talk about your ideas and see if it will be a good fit for both of us.
Anyway, I wanted to say THANK YOU to all of you TFFF members that continue to read, contribute, and enjoy fly fishing in Texas. Y'all have helped me through my low. Feel free to shoot me an email if you would like to talk (I would love to help you), share your story, or if I haven't shared in a while and you just want to check on me (lol.)
Peace Out-side, y'all.